Testimonial 4



I was one of those girls in high school who was looking for love. My father was never there for me, so I had never experienced real affection or positive attention from any male. So, I went to school in search of some "thug lovin.'" You know, the kind Fabulous be rappin' about in his cut "So Into You". Once I finally got with a thug, I never wanted him to leave me. I needed him in my life. He was giving me the love and attention I had wanted since I was a little shorty. He told me he loved me and showed me by buying me things, taking me out, and even though he played me a couple of times, I still knew the love he had for me was real. So of course, I had sex with him because I was in love with him, and I didn't want to lose him. He was my first love.

Well, it turns out we had sex all through my sophomore year of high school. I thought everything was cool. I had never gotten pregnant, and I knew I didn't have any std's. Only "hoochies and hoes" got those, and I was only with the man I loved. Some of the girls at my school was dealin' with that stuff, but I knew it would never happen to me. "Save it for marriage?" Please... The sex was too good and only lame people lived like that. Everything was cool with me and my man until around 8 days before my 16th birthday. That's when I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared. I thought "Oh my goodness...this can't be happenin' to me!" All I could see were my dreams of going to college going straight down the tubes. Luckily, I had a family who loved and supported me enough to help get me through school and get a scholarship to OSU were I decided to major in Journalism.

Getting pregnant at 16 didn't teach me a dang thing... I was still with the same dude into my freshman year at OSU. I loved him, and we had plans to marry after I graduated school. And I knew he loved me, or else he wouldn't have stayed with me as long as he did. We had been together since my freshman year of high school through thick and thin. So what I had a baby at 16. That would just make us closer and more in love...right???

It wasn't until I went for a doctor's visit at a campus clinic that I found out his love wasn't all that. I found out he had given me gonorrhea and chlamydia, two bacterial std's. How could he? I new he had cheated a few times, but to give me some nasty std's? I was devastated. I didn't even know that I had them. I had been walking around with something that could tare up my insides and ruin the possibility for me to have more kids later on, without even knowing it. I'm so thankful that I went to the doctor. Oh...but that ain't all. My throat started to hurt real bad. I thought I had strep throat or some cold going around campus. I went back to the doctor and found out that I had gonorrhea down my throat cuz' I had oral sex with my man. Ain't that tripped out? So, as much as it hurt me, I had to drop his sorry behind. I can't be with anybody who could do me like that.

So over the next few years I kept on having sex with a few other men. I mean, I knew I was only being used, but what was the use. I had already been with one dude. What was wrong with gettin' my freak on. I was responsible...I used condoms the way I was supposed to. I felt it was too late to stop havin' sex. I was in too deep. So one relationship after another, I kept giving my body over and over again... I would get attached to someone, have sex with them, and end up breaking off the relationship for one reason or another. Finally, I ended up meeting a really fine thuggish type dude. I loved the thugs. We had decided to be sex buddies and not let our heart get in too deep. So we had sex with no strings attached over a long period of time, and practiced "safe sex" of course. But, in one instance, our safe sex method did not work. The condom failed us and I ended up pregnant again. And by the way, I still ended up getting attached; despite the fact it was a no strings attached arrangement.

Now I have two different baby's dads, two kids, I've had two std's, and obviously the sex wasn't good enough to keep any of the six dudes I've been with. If I had the chance to do it all again, I would have waited. My heart's been broke so many times, and I've sacrificed my body and mind for something that wasn't even all that good, and never really kept me satisfied. Even the best sex I ever had wasn't worth going through all this. I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places. I wish I had saved sex for a man who committed to be with me, love me unconditionally, and support me for the rest of my life through marriage, because nothing short of all that is worth all that I gave away. Man, I used to laugh at those cats who weren't getting' any...Now who's got the last laugh?

Anyway, all that's in the past and because I care about my future I've chosen renewed abstinence. The way I see it is, the only way for my heart to heal is to stop allowing it to be torn apart. That's my definition of "Safe". Thanks for listening.

Facts:


  • Nearly 1 million teen girls get pregnant every year. (+/-)

    National Campaign Analysis of Henshaw, S.K. (2003)

  • Approximately 4 in 10 girls will become pregnant in the United States at least once before the age of 20 (+/-)

    National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 1997. Whatever Happened to Childhood? The Problem of Teen Pregnancy in the United States. Washington, DC.

  • 7 out of 10 adolescent mothers drop out of high school (+/-)

    Sexual Health Update, winter 1998, Vol. 6 No. 3, Medical Institute.

  • The U.S. has the highest rates of teen pregnancy, birth, and abortion in the industrialized world. (+/-)

    Singh, S., & Darroch, J.E. (2000). Adolescent pregnancy and childbearing: Levels and trends in developed countries. Family Planning Perspectives, 32(1), 14-23.

  • Nearly 40% of the fathers of children born to teen mothers are age 20 or older. (+/-)

    National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. (1997). Whatever Happened to Childhood? The Problem of Teen Pregnancy in the United States. Washington, DC: Author.

  • Children of teens are more likely to do poorly in school, more likely to drop out of school, and less likely to attend college. (+/-)

    Maynard, R.A. (Ed.), Kids Having Kids: A Robin Hood Foundation Special Report on the Costs of Adolescent Childbearing, New York: Robin Hood Foundation, 1996.

  • Nearly 80% of teen boys who father children do not marry the mother of their child and pay less than $800 annually in child support. (+/-)

    National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. (1997). Whatever Happened to Childhood? The Problem of Teen Pregnancy in the United States. Washington, DC: Author.